Public Service Accouncement (for future housewives of America)

Dear Future Housewives of America,

If you have a dream to become a housewife (which, let's be real, is the best job there is out there), let me give you a little tip that I discovered over the past two years:

DAWN.

That's right, the liquid soap for dishes. But they just have to market it that way because you really can't put into words the magic that it brings. Seriously, magic.

If you have ever seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (which, if you haven't, should go out and get it stat), you know that the father swears by Windex to "fix any ailment, from psoriasis to poison ivy." I feel the same way about Dawn. It can honestly get out anything from any surface. Let me give some examples:
1) I studied for 7 weeks in Italy between my junior and senior years of college. Naturally, I purchased olive oil to bring back. And, naturally, one bottle broke all over my clothes and suitcase. ALL OVER. Nothing was exempt. So I called my future mother-in-law and she was like, "Easy, put Dawn on the oil spots before you wash them." And let me tell you, all the oil came out the first time. I was amazed.
2) Steven and I bike a lot. As in, we have 3 bikes between the two of us, so grease has the potential to get everywhere: skin, carpet, clothes, shoes, gloves, leather, etc. Dawn get it out the first time. This goes for grass stains as well. Forget Resolve or Shout or anything like that... Dawn and warm water works so much better.
3) I'm clumsy and tend to not think things through. If I have coffee over a carpet, especially a cream-colored one, I am guaranteed to spill it (really, it's quite amazing). Or, for example, if an entire bottle of red wine falls onto the carpet and breaks into a million little pieces and wine droplets go a-flying, Dawn is there to save the day. For general stains on carpet (coffee, dirt, etc.), just mix Dawn and hot water and go to town. It takes 5 minutes and the stains are gone, For big stains, like 1 liter of Merlot, mix Dawn and hydrogen peroxide and blot your life away. I'm telling you, it works.

And it must be Dawn, no other variations of liquid dish soap. So if you are out of it or just don't own any, run, don't walk (you may sprint, just don't do anything less than a run) to get yourself the biggest container of Dawn on the market.

You may thank me later.