If you have seen me apart from Steven for any amount of time, I turn into a whiny child (despite our time apart in college). But it helps us refocus, renew, and realize why we decided to marry each other in the first place. (Tip: it doesn't get any easier leaving the one you love. You just have to learn how to deal with it.)
9) The choices and priorities you make on your wedding day are a gauge for what you and your spouse will value in the future.
8) Your spouse will continue to surprise you everyday.
Whether due to character traits or unexplained thought processes and resulting actions, there will always be a certain unpredictability factor that you will need to adjust to and respect. It is that unpredictability that makes your spouse unique and will grow your love and appreciation for them.
7) Passivity has no room in marriage. Whether it's the way you speak, the choices you make, or opinions you have, you need to be ACTIVE about it. Continued passivity will lead to negative feelings on both ends. So, state what you want, what you feel, what you think in a respectful and thought-out manner. For example, women: drop the "hinting" deal. Men don't get it. Don't torture them. If you actually want to get what you're hinting at, just tell them.
Similarly, sarcasm is not an effective form of communication.
As easy and tempting as it is to be sarcastic and sassy (women), it will get you nowhere except into a bigger fight. And it can just confuse the daylights out of your spouse if they can't pick up on it, so once again, don't torture them.
6) There are certain things I am never going to have to do again, and it is GLORIOUS. Said things include: pumping gas; moving big, heavy objects; killing bugs; trying to keep myself warm; protecting myself from the dangerous world outside; etc. And there are certain things that Steven will never have to do again, which I'm sure he finds glorious (worrying about having clean boxers, going into a grocery store alone, feeding himself, having a full bank account, etc.) I heart gender stereotypes.
5) Severe introversion applies to marriage as well.
Starting out, everyone thinks that they want to spend all their time with their spouse and it's going to be great and life is going to be rainbows and butterflies.
Let me shatter this illusion for you if you are a severe introvert like I: You will still want to be alone. And I'm going to guess that your partner is more extroverted than you, and they will not pick up on this nor understand it. So there are three things you can do:
a) Be moody and passive aggressive about the situation. (Tip: DOESN'T WORK)
b) Suck it up and pretend to be extroverted (Tip: DOESN'T WORK)
c) Be active and recognize how you can have alone time and when you need it the most. Chances are, your spouse will respect that and give you room. Make sure to give yourself limits though; leaving your (extroverted, energetic) spouse hanging isn't very kind or conducive to their personality or your relationship.
4) Love: redefined.
As you all know, Steven and I had the privilege of dating long-distance for 4 years. "Love" then was defined by how: a) I felt about him, and b) how my feelings were expressed, and c) what actions those expressions resulted in. Love now is defined by a) respecting and appreciating his decisions and hard work, b) acknowledging those things, and c) doing simple tasks that make his life more enjoyable (scratching him to sleep, washing his clothes, packing his lunches, etc.)
3) Give-take-give-take-give-take; repeat: always. And in that order.
2) The stronger your marriage grows, you begin to wonder how you were ever a whole person before your wedding day.
Let me sum it up by a cheesy quote from a somewhat cheesy movie: "You complete me."
And the answer is this: you weren't whole before marriage. That's the point of being married.
1) Being Steven's wife is THE BEST JOB I could have ever asked for, dreamed of, or wanted. "Mrs. Steven Holdcroft" is not a title of male dominance, but one that shows my pride in being called this man's wife. I am incredibly blessed.
