Reflections of a Rose

This past Saturday, my family gathered together to celebrate my cousin's baby shower. When my cousin, Alison, got to a specific gift, my aunt Kathi said, "You HAVE to read the card first!" Inside was a note from my uncle Wayne that read, "This is made out of your grandmother's pajamas, so you'll always remember that she is with you." Alison reached in the bag and pulled out a beautiful pink rose-colored teddy bear, which Kathi had sewn from Mammaw's pajamas, right down to the button eyes.

Mammaw's favorite flower was a rose, which is completely reflected in her personality. As roses are used commonly in formal and elegant occasions, she was regal as well, almost queen-like. She always carried herself confidently, standing tall with an air of pride. She never entered a room loudly, always stepping and speaking lightly, but always making an entrance. Mammaw always had the best manners and held herself and her family to set of high moral conduct. There were rules in Mammaw's house, and those rules were not to be broken.

But as roses are elegant, they always have thorns. Mammaw had a zesty flair to her; a side of sassiness that could never quite be replicated. On one of our last trips to see her, Steven and I rode our tandem bike over two mountains to the picturesque valley of Belleville. Upon hearing that, as she was laying in bed with the effects of cancer apparent, she grimaced and said, "There's something the matter with you!" She always had a wit to make us laugh, and it was usually during the most unexpected moments.

As rose petals are beautiful, they had nothing on Mammaw. From her curly white hair; to those precious, playful baby blues; to the soft, perfect skin; to her hands that had worked so hard- everything about her was gorgeous. Upon meeting her, one could never grasp really how beautiful she was, like a flower that has not yet bloomed. But after time, everyone who knew her saw what was reflected on the outside, as all beauty begins from within.

And just like roses are a symbol of love, I don't believe there has been one person I've known who has loved more than Dorothy Runk. She loved her family deeper than any of us could ever comprehend and sincerely only wanted the best for us. She was never happier than when we stopped by for a visit, even if she hadn't been feeling well for weeks. And because of that love, she prayed for us day in and day out, trusting our souls to Jesus and realizing the best thing she could do is love. And she did that very, very well.

My grandmother passed away in July at the ripe age of 85 after an eight-week battle with uterine cancer. I know we all miss her deeply and it's very hard to overcome our grief from losing the best woman we knew. But just as the note from my uncle said, we will always remember that she is with us, for she will forever be our beautiful rose.

Ten Things I've Learned From One Month of Being Thankful

10) I want nothing more than to be a housewife (to be fair, I already knew this, but being thankful for cooking, cleaning, taking care of my husband, wanting to serve my husband, etc. has really reiterated it).

9) I really love nature (I already knew this one also, but the beauty of it everyday amazes me, and I am genuinely thankful for it. I can't wait to live in the woods).

8) Thankfulness is far too under-rated and under-appreciated. I can only imagine what a great place this city and country would be if people took time to be thankful for what they have, instead of complaining about it or what they are lacking. I have a whole lot of stuff to be thankful for, and not a whole lot of stuff that justifies complaining.

7) I get really weepy when I am floored by some of the things I am deep-down thankful for.

6) I have a very difficult time being thankful for people. I'm not a people-person in the least (read: AT ALL), and it is something on which I need to work very hard. People are, after all, God's greatest creation.

5) Thankfulness is an active choice, not a passive feeling. And it deserves full recognition more than one day a year.

4) "Blessings" and "being blessed" are a completely foreign concept to most people. Which leads me to think, how can I be a blessing to others everyday? Yikes. Heavy thought.

3) Thankfulness is directly correlated to temporary happiness and permanent joy, peace, and hope. The future can be a scary thing to my little human mind, but if I recognize my blessings now, I know I will have abundant blessings in the future as well.

2) IT IS HARD. Being thankful everyday and finding things to be thankful for is a mindset change, not flippant decisions. It's exactly like when people start to lose weight- it's hard because it's a lifestyle change, not a temporary solution.

1) The things that I am most thankful for I don't deserve at all, and are 100% irreplaceable. They deserved to be treasured and recognized as a gift everyday. Thankfulness helps me see the true value in what is around me.

Home

Everyday, I am grateful to have a home.

"Home" used to be the house I would arrive to everyday and know my family would warmly greet me (or tell me to "stop slamming the door!") when I arrived. When Steven and I were dating, I knew I wanted to have a home with him someday because I never loved life more or felt more secure than when I was with him. Then we got married, and moved 3 times in our first 15 months of marriage.

Talk about shaking up the definition of home.

I loved our first apartment- a 700 square foot place that has so many good memories, but we knew from the outset that it wasn't permanent. We moved to Pittsburgh seven months later, and although I loved it dearly, I was never settled and felt pretty home-less. I was going in between two places, both of which could not have been better for the emotional support I needed, but there was no place I could plant my feet and know I would be able to see Steven everyday, which was suddenly reminiscent of our dating years (except it was "short distance" as opposed to long, and that was a weird adjustment since we were married...)

While in Pittsburgh, we dedicated a lot of our time to finding a somewhat permanent home back in Arlington. For months we number-crunched, prayed, looked at listings, drove miles back and forth, and then finally, we found it: our first home.

Sitting in the shire of Shirlington, it's a bit of an ugly duckling to be sure, but it is perfect in everyway. The kitchen appliances from 1981, the wallpaper (OH, the wallpaper!), the mirror that takes up the entire wall in the bathroom- none of it matters, because for the first time in my married life, we are settled, in our place that we own, and I get to see Steven everyday.

In our own home.

The Dog vs. Cat Debate

(pictures couldn't upload. sad face.)

This is a common debate I hear a lot. I've found that people feel very strongly about whether their friends and family should get a dog or cat when considering a pet. No one ever says, "Yes! You should get a FISH!" or "Birds are the best pet of all time." It's always feline vs. canine. (And apparently, when you get your own place, people feel the need to interject their two sense into what animal you should get. As if they will be taking care of it. Right.)

And lately, I have been feeling very strongly about it, too. Steven and I live in South Arlington in a little nook called Shirlington. We absolutely love it! It's quaint and serves as our little oasis in this big metropolitan area. However, one thing I DO NOT love are all the dogs. Dogs are everywhere. There's a dog park. You can take your dog to a restaurant and the restaurant has water dishes. Any given time you walk down the street, you will encounter at least three dog/owner combos, and most of the time it's multiple dogs with one owner. People carry dogs in their over-sized bags.

And this is doing nothing to encourage me to like dogs more. In fact, it is polarizing me as a cat lover. You don't need to take your cat on a walk multiple times a day. A cat won't pee in the middle of the sidewalk or poop on your hydragias (to me, there is nothing more demeaning than picking up fresh dog poop.) A cat doesn't jump on you when you walk in the door (unless it's a planned attack, in which I applaude the clever animal) or sniff your crotch when you first meet it (completely embarrassing, people.) Cats don't make noise either, so the unnecessary barking at stupid stuff really just doesn't happen.  Cats don't beg at the table and watch your every move when eating anything. Also, cats wash themselves- what a bonus!

To me, it's 100% the dog owners fault that they have a terrible dog because they didn't take time to train it. Dogs make great pets because of how trainable they are... if you put in the time, effort, and money to do so. The only dog I have ever loved, Mikita, was trained mainly by my mother-in-law (Michele) and was seriously the BEST dog in the world. Michele could say, "Mikita, you're in the way", and she would always lay down in the same spot and wait until it was safe to move. Mikita knew Michele's every move and made sure she was always relatively close (dogs are also great protectors!). Mikita never barked unless someone who didn't belong in the house approached it. She also didn't jump, sniff body parts, or beg at the table (Steven would put food in front of her, but she would eat it until instructed.). She was phenomenal. But Mikita could have been a "bad" dog if no one took all that time to train her.

I would totally love dogs if all of them were like Mikita and all trainers were like Michele. But they aren't. And that's why I tend to not like dogs. This is not to say that I hate dogs and I will never want to be around them, I just don't engage with them like I do a cat (yes, you can play with a cat- did you know that?!). In fact, Steven and I will probably get a dog before we get a cat, if we ever get a cat. But we need to take a huge chunk of time, and the necessary funds, to train it. We also need a yard; dogs require acreage.

It's all based on personal preference; not one animal is "better". And I prefer cats. Case closed.

Public Service Accouncement (for future housewives of America)

Dear Future Housewives of America,

If you have a dream to become a housewife (which, let's be real, is the best job there is out there), let me give you a little tip that I discovered over the past two years:

DAWN.

That's right, the liquid soap for dishes. But they just have to market it that way because you really can't put into words the magic that it brings. Seriously, magic.

If you have ever seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (which, if you haven't, should go out and get it stat), you know that the father swears by Windex to "fix any ailment, from psoriasis to poison ivy." I feel the same way about Dawn. It can honestly get out anything from any surface. Let me give some examples:
1) I studied for 7 weeks in Italy between my junior and senior years of college. Naturally, I purchased olive oil to bring back. And, naturally, one bottle broke all over my clothes and suitcase. ALL OVER. Nothing was exempt. So I called my future mother-in-law and she was like, "Easy, put Dawn on the oil spots before you wash them." And let me tell you, all the oil came out the first time. I was amazed.
2) Steven and I bike a lot. As in, we have 3 bikes between the two of us, so grease has the potential to get everywhere: skin, carpet, clothes, shoes, gloves, leather, etc. Dawn get it out the first time. This goes for grass stains as well. Forget Resolve or Shout or anything like that... Dawn and warm water works so much better.
3) I'm clumsy and tend to not think things through. If I have coffee over a carpet, especially a cream-colored one, I am guaranteed to spill it (really, it's quite amazing). Or, for example, if an entire bottle of red wine falls onto the carpet and breaks into a million little pieces and wine droplets go a-flying, Dawn is there to save the day. For general stains on carpet (coffee, dirt, etc.), just mix Dawn and hot water and go to town. It takes 5 minutes and the stains are gone, For big stains, like 1 liter of Merlot, mix Dawn and hydrogen peroxide and blot your life away. I'm telling you, it works.

And it must be Dawn, no other variations of liquid dish soap. So if you are out of it or just don't own any, run, don't walk (you may sprint, just don't do anything less than a run) to get yourself the biggest container of Dawn on the market.

You may thank me later.